


May The Best Man Win

by shadowsfan



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-16 22:10:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8119303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowsfan/pseuds/shadowsfan
Summary: Modern AU where Cersei and Stannis end up happy and not hating each other. This takes place at Kings Landing University and Stannis, Cersei, Qyburn, and Robert are college students. The story revolves around a competition similar to Homecoming King.  Unapologetic Crack!





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CommaSplice](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommaSplice/gifts).



> Prompt: Do something with either fake dating or an arranged marriage and pick from the characters I listed above and go to town (fake dating – mod au; arranged marriage - canon).

 

_Kings Landing University ─ Biology Lab_  
  
  
“What’s wrong?”  
  
  
Lost in thought, it took a moment for Cersei to register the question.  Her lab partner, Qy, had spoken so softly, not bothering to look up from the toad he was dissecting.  Cersei hated lab.  She’d signed up for Bio 101 simply because her general studies major required a science class, and for some reason she’d managed to make it to the first term of her junior year without taking one.  She thought it would be easy; it was an introductory course after all.  She hadn’t been aware that the lab was required.  Luckily she’d met Qyburn, the pre-med student from Oldtown.  Theirs was the perfect partnership.  Qy did all the lab work and she distracted the professor so that Qy could borrow any chemicals he needed for his _personal use_.  She didn’t question him about what he meant by that, and he didn’t chatter on endlessly about sports or flirt with her like most other men.  Qy was also a great source for interesting recreational drugs.  
  
  
“What makes you think something is wrong?”  
  
  
“You’re very quiet.  Usually you enjoy telling me about all the latest gossip.”  
  
  
Cersei snorted.  Qy was right; she lived for the campus gossip.  If she’d had her way, she wouldn’t have set foot on university grounds unless it was to put in an appearance at one of Robert’s sporting events, and then only because she wanted him to think she was a _good_ girlfriend.  But father had insisted that she get a degree because she would sit on the board of Lannister Incorporated one day, as was expected of all Tywin Lannister’s children.  The only thing that made college life bearable was judging the other students. Campus gossip was her greatest source of entertainment, and she loved to dish it with her lab partner.  Today, however, she wasn’t in the mood.  
  
  
“Robert is cheating on me.  That’s the gossip this week,” she snapped.  
  
  
“Does that surprise you?”  
  
  
Cersei shot him a withering look.  “Of course it surprises me,” she hissed.  “I’m a Lannister!  I have far more class and better looks than any of those gold-digging whores he’s fucking.  It isn’t as if he’s wanting for sex either.”  
  
  
Qy met her meaningful gaze and quickly looked away.  “None of that has any bearing on Robert Baratheon’s behavior and you know it.  He’s an idiot.”  
  
  
“Of course he’s an idiot, but father wants me to marry him.  The marriage would be advantageous to our families ─ the merger of financial assets.”  
  
  
“It sounds so very, arranged.  How do you feel about it?”  
  
  
Cersei shrugged. “If I have to marry someone, it may as well be Robert.”  
  
  
What she didn’t say was that her father had promised to make it financially worthwhile, tantalizing her with an independent bank account and stock options.  And, because Robert was an idiot, he was easy to manipulate.  She could spend time with her twin brother, Jaime, and Robert would never notice that there might be more to their relationship than was deemed appropriate between siblings.  Not that Jaime wanted much to do with her these days.  He had joined the Peace Corps and was traveling overseas.  He’d said that it was for the adventure, although she had her suspicions that his real motives included putting some distance between himself and his family.  She missed Jaime’s counsel as much as his physical presence.  At the moment, it seemed that nothing was going her way.  
  
  
“You could get pregnant.  That’s what some women would do,” Qy suggested, while opening the packaging on another sterile scalpel.  
  
  
“I’m not worried about Robert marrying me,” she explained testily.  “Father and Jon Arryn will make sure he cooperates when it comes time to say his vows.”  
  
  
“I only want him to stop humiliating me in public.  I don’t care who he fucks, as long as she’s a nobody and he’s discreet.  I want him to show a little respect.  I will not be made the object of ridicule or pity.” What she didn’t add was that the idea of having Robert’s children was revolting to her.  She wasn’t going to allow that to happen.  Her plan involved a quick divorce and a generous settlement which left the business merger intact so her father wouldn’t complain.  
  
  
Qy nodded thoughtfully.  “Robert is a Baratheon, the eldest brother at that.  For Robert, it’s all about the chase – the conquest.  He’s captain of the football team but he isn’t satisfied with that, he needs to be captain of the baseball team, and president of the student body as well.  If you want to keep Robert in line, you have to make him fear losing you.”  
  
  
Cersei looked interested.  “So I should date someone else?  Make him jealous?”  
  
  
“Not just anyone.  Most men would be afraid to date you – afraid of Robert’s retaliation.  You need to date someone who will get under Robert’s skin – someone who isn’t afraid of Robert or his friends.”  
  
  
“And who might that be?  Robert is the most popular man on campus.  It would have to be someone who doesn’t attend KLU.”  
  
  
“Not necessarily.  I was thinking of his brother Stannis.”  
  
  
“Stannis Baratheon?!”  Cersei stared at him with a mixture of incredulity and contempt.  “Stannis Baratheon doesn’t like women.  Stannis Baratheon doesn’t like ANYONE.  He’s a know-it-all snob. I’m quite sure he wouldn’t date Miss Westeros if she didn’t provide satisfactory answers to the pageant questions.  What makes you think that Stannis would date me of all people?  Furthermore, what makes you think I would want to date _him_?”  
  
Qy looked around to see if anyone had noticed her outburst.  Aside from a couple of irritated glances, the rest of the students appeared to be occupied with their work. “Hear me out before you dismiss my advice.”  
  
  
Skeptical yet intrigued, Cersei listened.  
  


  
  
  
~~~

 

Later that afternoon, Cersei cornered Stannis in the library.  
  
  
“I need to speak with you.”  
  
  
Stannis peered at her over the top of his book and glanced around briefly, as if to confirm there was no one else in the vicinity who she could be addressing.  
  
  
“What could the two of us possibly have to discuss?”  
  
  
“I’ll explain it to you,” she replied, keeping her voice low.  “Somewhere more private.  How about that new Dornish coffee shop off campus?”  
  
  
“I don’t drink coffee,” he said flatly.  
  
  
“You don’t have to drink coffee.  They have other beverages.”  She struggled to keep from rolling her eyes.  
  
  
“I’m not thirsty.  The library is private enough.”  
  
  
“Fine,” she hissed.  “Robert is cheating on me.”  
  
  
“Does that surprise you?” Stannis asked without batting an eye.  
  
  
“Why is that always the response?” Cersei snapped.  “No it doesn’t surprise me, but I want him to stop.”  
  
  
“He won’t.  It’s Robert we’re talking about.  You can’t change him.”  Stannis looked irritated.  “Why do you care?  Break up with him.”  
  
  
“I can’t,” she growled.  “Our parents ─ my father and your guardian ─ want us to marry.  It will be good for both of our families ─ for business.  You know this.”  
  
  
“You’ll do well to convince Robert of that,” Stannis snorted.  “He only began dating you to make Lyanna Stark jealous ─ before he found out that she was a lesbian.”  
  
  
“She isn’t a lesbian.  She only told him that so he would quit stalking her.” Cersei smirked.  
  
  
“You’re joking,” Stannis said.  
  
  
“It’s common knowledge,” Cersei explained smugly.  “She transferred from KLU to another uni just to get away from him.  She wanted to date other men and Robert made it impossible for her.”  
  
  
Cersei detected a gleam of amusement in Stannis’ eye, although he still hadn’t cracked a smile.  
  
  
“Okay, so you want to keep dating Robert.  How are you going to stop him from pursuing other women?  And why are you talking to me about it?  Surely you realize that I have no influence over Robert at all.”  
  
  
“I know that.  Neither do I.  But I have a plan that I think will benefit us both.”  
  
  
“I’m listening.”  
  
  
“We will start dating each other ─ pretend dating of course, don’t expect any sexual favors.”  
  
  
Stannis stared at her unblinkingly for a moment and then he made a strangled, choking sound and his shoulders started to shake.  Cersei realized that he was laughing, although Stannis Baratheon didn’t laugh.  
  
  
“You must be insane!” Stannis exclaimed at last.  “Besides the fact that we have nothing whatsoever in common, and would be two of the last people on earth who would want to date each other, why would you think that Robert would even care?”  
  
  
“What does Robert care about more than anything?”  
  
  
“Winning.”  
  
  
“And why does he want to win?  Because it makes him the most popular man on campus.  He’s been the most popular for the last three years.  He doesn’t just want to win but he expects it ─ he needs it.”  
  
  
“Go on,” Stannis said, giving her his full attention.  
  
  
“What would happen if you, Robert’s younger brother, were to beat him in a popularity contest?  And what if it were to be a very public defeat?”  
  
  
“It would wound his ego, of course.  But what contest, and what does this have to do with us dating?”  
  
  
“What popularity contest does Robert win every year?”  Before he could answer, Cersei beat him to it, “King of the Keep.”  
  
  
“Now I know you’re insane.  What─?”  
  
  
“I’m not finished,” Cersei interrupted, holding up a hand to silence him.  “What if this year, _you_ are crowned, King of the Keep?  What if you began dating me, Robert’s ex-girlfriend, the one responsible for making it all happen? What if we show everyone that we are extraordinarily happy together, outside of Robert’s sphere of influence?  Robert would be jealous if he thinks you wanted me and that I was important to you. He’d want me back just to put you in your place.”  
  
Stannis’ eyes narrowed.  
  
  
“Wait a minute.  This wasn’t your idea.  It’s far too complicated a plan and “sphere of influence” isn’t a phrase you’d ever use.”  
  
  
“Fine, I had help ─ it doesn’t matter.  What matters is that I need your cooperation for the plan to work.”  
  
  
“But it can’t work!  I’m not popular!  You said so yourself.  The only athletic team I’m on is the swim team, and nobody cares about the swim team.  I don’t participate in any clubs or fraternities.  I used to be a member of the historical society, but I was voted out due to my extremely unpopular opinion on prohibiting the ghost tours at Harrenhal, which I was well within my rights to express.  I’ve never participated in student body politics because the elections are merely popularity contests and have nothing to do with the real issues.  I’m not popular nor do I wish to _be_ popular.”  
  
Cersei closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose as Stannis droned on.  She knew this wasn’t going to be easy but she didn’t think it would be quite this tedious.  
  
  
“I will take care of everything,” she managed to interject when at last he paused to take a breath.   “As I said, the plan is for me to be your campaign manager, as it were.  I will propel you to the top.  We will be a power couple.  When I make the impossible happen, Robert will see what an asset I would be to him.”  
  
  
“You’ll buy the vote then, like the Lannisters do with every election they want to win?  I won’t be a party to anything unethical or illegal,” Stannis argued.  
  
  
Cersei paused.  What Stannis didn’t know he couldn’t object to.  “Very well, I will do nothing unethical or illegal.”  It wasn’t an outright lie, it was all in the context.  “You don’t have to do anything, Stannis, except go out with me and try and look happy.  I know that will be difficult for you but there isn’t any physical reason why you can’t smile is there?”  
  
  
Stannis scowled.  “My answer is no.  I can’t think of anything I could want less than the title King of the Keep, and I don’t see how this plan would benefit me in any way.  The end result would be that I am granted a title I do not want, and would be humiliated yet again by losing my sham girlfriend to Robert as soon as he wants you back.”  
  
  
Cersei’s head felt like it was going to explode.  She forced herself to smile in spite of the fact that she wanted to throttle him.  She had expected him to be resistant but this was ridiculous.  For most men in his position it would be enough just to be seen on the arm of a beautiful woman, if only to make his friends jealous.  But then, Stannis had no friends.  How could you reason with a man like that?  She had one last argument left.  She could appeal to his sense of honor.  
  
  
“Do you approve of Robert’s behavior?  Do you want him to continue building his reputation as a womanizer ─ a reputation that can only tarnish the Baratheon family name?  Or, do you want him to settle down and marry a woman from a good family?  Think of what it would mean to the family business.  Think of the family honor.”  
  
  
“You care nothing about the Baratheon family honor,” Stannis snapped.  
  
  
“But you do,” Cersei responded, meeting his gaze.  
  
  
Stannis clenched his jaw so hard that Cersei found it painful to watch.  She studied his face as he considered her proposal once again, and after a few long moments she saw that she had persuaded him.  
  
  
“I will not campaign in any way.  I will do nothing to assist you in this scheme,” he growled.  
  
  
“As I said, the only requirement is that you appear in public with me, acting as if we’re a couple.  I’ll do the rest.”  
  
  
“Very well,” Stannis replied, returning to his book dismissively.  
  
  
“Other students may want to speak with you after your name appears on the ballot,” Cersei added before leaving.  “If you could only act a bit friendlier─” Stannis stiffened and opened his mouth as if to argue but she couldn’t bear another outburst.  “─on second thought let me do all the talking.”  
  
  


~~~  
  
  


_Kings Landing Beach – One Week Later_  
  
  
It was the Friday night before the first football game and many students were gathered around the bonfire drinking and telling stories, while others relaxed on blankets or lounged in chairs making out.  Cersei seated herself on Stannis’ lap while he reclined in a chair.  
  
  
“Here drink this.”  Cersei handed him a plastic cup and took a sip of wine from her own.  
  
  
“What is it?”  Stannis eyed it suspiciously and gave it a sniff.  “I don’t drink alcoholic beverages.”  
  
  
“I know.  You’ve told me a thousand times.  It’s water.  Just pretend it’s beer.  Act like you’re a normal person for once.”  
  
  
Stannis glared at her.  “I don’t know why you have to drape yourself over me.  We’ve been dating a week and Robert hasn’t even noticed.”  
  
  
“He isn’t going to notice if we act like we hate each other.  We’re supposed to be in an intimate relationship.  We need to start acting like it.”  
  
  
Cersei placed her drink on the arm of the chair and slipped her arms around his neck.  Stannis’ eyes narrowed and he made a face like he had just sucked on a bitter lemon when she closed the distance between them and placed her lips on his.  Stannis clenched his jaw so tightly she knew she would have to pry it open to get any tongue but for the moment she continued to kiss him as fervently as was possible when one’s partner wasn’t participating.  She pulled back after a minute.  
  
  
“That was the most disappointing kiss I’ve ever experienced, including the one from my wrinkly great-aunt Ellyn when I was four.  You’re lips are as cold and unyielding as The Wall.”  
  
  
“I told you I don’t care for wine.  Kissing you is like downing an entire bottle of Dornish Red.”  
  
  
Before she could answer they heard Robert’s voice booming beside them.  “Well, well, I didn’t believe that the rumors were true.  The two of you dating?  Although, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.  Stannis is used to getting my hand-me-downs.”  
  
  
“Let’s get our facts straight shall we?” Cersei said icily, tightening her grip around Stannis’ neck.  “I’m the one who left you.  I’m nobody’s hand-me-down.”  
  
  
Robert snorted.  “That’s a matter of opinion.  But why Stannis?  He can recite The True History of Westeros by heart, but he doesn’t know the first thing about what to do with a woman.  You may have to draw him a diagram.  He does love a good map.”  
  
  
“For your information, Stannis knows more than you think,” Cersei smiled suggestively at Stannis who was glaring at his brother and grinding his teeth loudly enough to be heard over the roar of the waves.  “Don’t you sweetheart.”  
  
  
“A confident man has no need to boast about his accomplishments,” Stannis replied.  
  
  
“What accomplishments?  You haven’t any, unless you consider president of the chess club an accomplishment,” Robert sneered.  
  
  
“How about King of the Keep?” Cersei countered before Stannis could reply.  
  
  
Robert looked confused at first and then let loose a burst of laughter.  “You must be joking.  The King of the Keep is always a student that other students like ─ like me.  Stannis wouldn’t get one vote, unless he voted for himself, which he probably wouldn’t do because it violated his principles.”  
  
  
“I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” Cersei sneered.  “Have you checked the nominees?  Stannis is on the ballot and I’m going to see to it that he wins.”  
  
  
“You?”  Robert looked genuinely confused.  “You aren’t popular either.  You mean you’re going to have your father buy the vote?  I would think that influencing a silly student election would be beneath Tywin Lannister but─”  
  
  
“There will be no illegal or unethical tactics,” Stannis interrupted.  “We will win by legitimate means.”  
  
  
“Of course you will,” Robert chuckled.  “I can see your slogan now ─ No Beer, No Sex, No Fun ─ Vote for Stannis ─ the No Fun King!”  
  
  
Robert laughed again, so hard that he began to cough and sputter.  When he was finished, he took a long swig of beer.  Before leaving, he offered a parting shot.  
  
  
“I was wrong; the two of you are perfect for each other!  At least your joke campaign will be entertaining.  I haven’t laughed this hard in weeks.  Good luck to the both of you.”  
  
  
“I don’t understand what he meant by joke campaign,” Stannis remarked when Robert had gone.  “There isn’t an actual campaign for King of the Keep.  There are no speeches or debates.  It’s simply a vote based upon the popularity of the candidate.  The title comes with no official responsibilities other than attending the homecoming game and dance.  Robert is an idiot.”  
  
  
Cersei looked stricken.  She shifted in his lap to face him.  “Will you shut up?!”  She glared at him.  “Robert wasn’t jealous in the least.  You aren’t doing your part in pretending we’re sleeping together.  Now kiss me as if you mean it for once!”  
  
  
She gripped his shoulders tightly and kissed him hard on the mouth.  Stannis tensed at first but allowed her to continue, awkwardly placing his arms around her and groping for a spot to rest his hands, shifting them from her hips to her shoulders then settling on her waist.  Pacified, Cersei softened the kiss and was able to coax Stannis to part his lips a sliver and admit a small portion of tongue.  As they continued, Cersei decided that Stannis wasn’t a bad kisser at all.  With practice might actually become good at it.  At least it wasn’t horrible.  He smelled nice, his breath was nice, and he tasted kind of citrusy.  She shifted again; her leg was falling asleep from this uncomfortable position.  Suddenly she stopped kissing him and pulled away, her eyes narrowing.  
  
  
“Tell me that isn’t what I think it is,” she hissed, sitting up.  “You aren’t getting hard are you?  I told you not to expect any sexual favors!”  
  
  
Stannis reddened and quickly looked away.  “Well if you wouldn’t rub yourself all over me like a common trollop!  It’s caused by friction you know.”  
  
  
“Trollop?  How old are you ─ eighty?  I don’t think I’ve even heard father use that word.  This isn’t going to work if you get a hardon each time we kiss.”  
  
  
“You needn’t worry.  Your voice seems to be the antidote.  It’s gone now,” Stannis sneered.  
  
  
“Take me home,” Cersei ordered.  “I’ve had enough of the Baratheon brothers for one day.  I need to get to work on your campaign.”  
  
  
“There is no campaign,” Stannis argued, rising from the chair as she scooted off of his lap.  
  
  
“Of course there is.  We need signs for one thing.”  
  
  
“No signs.”  
  
  
“We have to have signs, Stannis.  Everyone has signs,” she argued, staring at him incredulously.  
  
  
“No signs,” Stannis insisted.  
  
  
“You’re impossible!” Cersei cried, throwing up her hands.  “Okay, no signs.  I’ll just have to improvise.”  
  


  
~~~  
  
  


_Biology Lab – Two Weeks Later_  
  
  
“Have you secured all the major voting groups?” Qy asked, while measuring the correct amount of buffer required for the afternoon’s experiment using a graduated cylinder.  “There are only three days remaining until homecoming.”  
  
  
“It’s hopeless,” Cersei replied.  She looked dejected, leaning one elbow on the lab bench while absently twisting a lock of her hair.  “Stannis running for King of the Keep was a terrible idea.  I don’t know why I let you talk me into it.”  
  
  
“But you were so motivated when you began!  You are a force to be reckoned with at this university, most of the students are terrified of you.  Surely you haven’t given up so easily.”  
  
  
“Easily?” Cersei scoffed.  “First of all, you can forget about the jocks.  They can’t be swayed from voting for Robert.  Even Stannis’ fellow teammates on the swim team won’t vote for him.  Most of them are assholes, I don’t know why Stannis puts up with them.  They wouldn’t have won the sectionals without him last season.”  
  
  
Qyburn raised an eyebrow and glanced at her before returning to his work. “What about the women’s teams?  I’m sure many of them will vote for Stannis since Robert has such a reputation for being sexist.”  
  
  
“You’re right,” Cersei said, perking up.  “I hadn’t thought of that. Although Stannis isn’t exactly known for being a champion of women’s rights either.  At least he’s a gentleman.  Still, it won’t be enough.”  
  
  
“What about the fraternities and sororities?”  
  
  
“Stannis has too many rules,” Cersei complained.  “He said I couldn’t buy the vote ─ so I didn’t bribe anyone.  But technically donating to charity isn’t a bribe, so I made a large donation to the Sigma Chi cancer fund in Stannis’ name.”  
  
  
“Good thinking,” Qy replied.  “They i>are the biggest fraternity and they usually vote for Robert.”  
  
  
“Yes, but it didn’t work. They accepted my donation, the president thanked me, and then he told me that all of the members would vote for Robert because he was a fellow brother ─ whatever the hell that means.”  
  
“I see,” Qy said solemnly.  
  
  
“I even asked him if would change their minds to learn that Stannis was dying of cancer and his last wish was to be crowned King of the Keep.”  
  
  
“Did it work?”  
  
  
“He offered to set up a GoFundMe and then explained the penalty for fraud.”  
  
  
“What about the groups that might tend to vote for a ─ shall we say ─ less traditional candidate?”  
  
  
Cersei glanced around to see if anyone was listening.  
    
  
“I had drinks with the president of the biggest LGBT student organization on campus.  I pretended to confide to her that Stannis is asexual.  I told her that our dating is just a cover to prevent Robert from hazing him, but being elected King of the Keep may just give Stannis the confidence he needs to come out to his family.  Given his lack of a dating history, it wasn’t much of a stretch.”  
  
  
“Brilliant,” Qy said, nodding approvingly.  “What was the response?”  
  
  
“She said I was a horrible person for outing him and it was people like me who made KLU such a hostile environment for the LGBT students.”  
  
  
“Ouch,” Qy winced.  “It doesn’t appear there is much chance of Stannis winning.  What will he do when he finds out that you’ve failed?”  
  
  
“He will probably accuse me of publicly humiliating him, right before he gloats and says ─ I told you so,” Cersei lamented.  “But it’s his own damned fault!  He gave me absolutely nothing to work with; nothing at all!  I’ve never met anyone like him, Qy.  Stannis really has no interest in being popular.”  
  
  
“I’m sorry,” Qy said, frowning.  “These past weeks must have been awful for you.”  
  
  
Cersei didn’t reply for a few moments.  She looked away, thoughtfully chewing her lip.  When she finally answered, her voice was nearly inaudible.  “Actually they haven’t.”  
  
  
Qy’s eyes widened with interest.  “Do tell.  Have you become fond of our candidate?  What have you been doing with him?”  
  
  
Cersei glanced around again, still speaking in a hushed tone.  “This is between you and me.  If you tell anyone I’ll cut you.”  
  
  
“I’m sworn to secrecy.”  
  
  
“We drove to Make-out Point. We walked to the edge of the cliff and lay on a blanket.”  Cersei scowled.  “He told me about the constellations.  We looked at the fucking stars for over an hour.”  
  
  
“And?” Qy asked impatiently.  
  
  
“It was nice,” Cersei hissed through gritted teeth, as if she was confessing to an inquisitor while being tortured.  “We talked, we drank non-alcoholic beverages, I convinced him to make out a little for show, and I liked it.”  She sighed dramatically, lowering her eyes.  “I had a good time.”  
  
  
“Maybe you’ve been pursuing the wrong Baratheon brother all this time.”  Qy teased, offering a thin-lipped smile.  
  
  
Cersei glared at him. “This is all your fault you know!” she growled.  “Nothing is working out the way you said it would.  Stannis will probably withdraw his name when he finds out the truth.  Even worse, Robert isn’t the least bit jealous!  He couldn’t care less if Stannis and I fucked on the field at halftime during the homecoming game in front of the entire student body.”  
  
  
“I think you should stop thinking about what Robert wants and think about what you want.  Do you want Robert back or not?”  
  
  
“I don’t know what’s happening to me, Qy,” Cersei admitted.   “Stannis isn’t anything like Robert.  He opens the car door for me. He asks my opinion on where we should dine. He has actually become a good kisser ─ and he’s respected my wishes to not try and fuck me.  What has surprised me the most, is that when he isn’t arguing with me, I’ve found that I don’t hate talking to him.”  
  
  
“Well then, maybe you should tell Stannis how you feel.  Tell him the truth about how hard you worked to get him elected.  He can’t be angry if you’re honest with him.  Maybe he doesn’t hate talking to you either.”  
  
  


~~~  
  
  


_A House Near KLU – Fifteen Years Later_  
  
  
“Don’t forget to pick Cassana up from dance class this afternoon,” Cersei said to her partner as she placed a bowl of cereal before their youngest daughter.  “I have the book signing in Fleabottom today ─ that is if anyone shows up.  If not, I may be home early.”  
  
  
“Mmm,” Stannis acknowledged, barely glancing up from his newspaper.  “Your latest book is sure to be a hit.  How many copies did the last one sell ─ thousands?”  
  
  
Cersei tried to remember the latest sales figures for, Not My Father’s Daughter ─ A Feminist Memoir.   “Fifty-thousand I think.  Okay maybe a few people will show up.”  
  
  
She reached for his hand and squeezed it, finally capturing his full attention.  “Just don’t become so distracted discussing the Doom of Valyria with your students after class that you forget, like you did last time.”  
  
  
“That was _one_ time, and I didn’t forget.  I was only fifteen minutes late,” Stannis protested.  
  
  
“Dad, is this Uncle Robert?”  Steffan, the oldest of their three children, asked as he burst into the kitchen trailed by his sister, Joanna.  
  
  
Cersei recognized the KLU yearbook he was holding and rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“Where did you find that?”  
  
  
“In dad’s study,” he answered, holding the book under his father’s nose and forcing him to abandon the newspaper.  
  
  
“Yes, that’s your uncle Robert,” Stannis answered.  
  
  
“Why does he look so mad?” Joanna asked.  
  
  
“I don’t have any idea,” Stannis said dismissively.  “That was years ago.”  
  
  
Cersei leaned in, taking a closer look, a smile breaking across her face.  “I remember.  That was a picture someone snapped right after he’d lost the election for King of the Keep.  I don’t think he was mad, just surprised.”  
  
  
“King of the Keep?  What’s that?”  Steffan grinned at his sister.  “It sounds like a character from one of Cassana’s storybooks.”  
  
  
Stannis snorted.  “That description is as appropriate as any.  Technically, it’s the title of the man voted most popular student on campus.  The winner gets to be _king_ for one night at the homecoming football game and dance.”  
  
  
Cersei cleared her throat loudly, catching Stannis’ eye.  “Oh, ah, I believe that they also let women compete now too. But regardless, it’s a silly contest that your uncle Robert won three years in a row, until that year.”  
  
  
“Who won?  Was it you?  Did you wear a crown?” Cassana looked up from her cereal and studied her father with wide eyes.  
  
  
“Yes, the winner wears a crown, but no.  I mean, no, I didn’t win.  I didn’t, well actually I…” Stannis paused, and looked to Cersei for help.  
  
  
“Your father chose not to compete.  Otherwise, I’m sure that many students would have voted for him.”  
  
  
“But who won?” Steffan asked.  
  
  
Cersei met Stannis’ gaze, amusement in her eyes.  “It was that transfer student from Sunspear College wasn’t it?  Oberyn?”  
  
“Yes,” Stannis replied, nodding his head.  “I remember him, the one with the flashy clothes.  Here is a picture,” he added, pointing it out to his children who eagerly took turns examining it more closely.  
  
  
“But why didn’t you want to win, Father?” Joanna was the only one of their children who called Stannis, father.  She was also the only blonde, favoring her mother both in looks and manner.  Steffan and Cassana, with their black hair and blue eyes looked more like Stannis.  
  
  
“We will have to continue this discussion later,” Cersei announced, taking the yearbook and putting her hand on Steffan’s shoulder.  “It’s time to get ready for school.  Go wash up and get your backpacks.”  
  
  
The three children sighed heavily and frowned in disappointment but reluctantly obeyed.  Cersei picked up the breakfast dishes from the table and placed them in the sink.  She was rinsing them when she felt Stannis’ presence behind her.  His arms slipped around her waist.  
  
  
“Looking at those old photos of you, makes me realize that you’re just as beautiful now.  In fact, have I told you just how much I love your short hair?”  Stannis asked, kissing the back of her neck.  It had taken some getting used to, but she also liked the new hairstyle.  
  
  
“You may have mentioned it once or twice,” Cersei answered, leaning into his embrace.  “Since we’re on the subject of the yearbook, I was just thinking.”  
  
  
“What were you thinking?”  
  
  
“All those years ago, what made you change your mind about me?  You detested me.  We had nothing in common.  After I admitted that I failed as your sham girlfriend and campaign manager, what made you decide to ask me out on a real date?”  
  
  
“Detest is a strong word.”  He let her go and she turned to face him.  “To be honest, I always had a secret crush on you.”  
  
  
“No!” Cersei laughed.  “I don’t believe it.”  
  
  
Stannis stared at her unblinkingly.  
  
  
“Okay.  I know you don’t lie ─ although you have been known to bend the truth to spare my feelings,” Cersei studied his face carefully.  “But I don’t think you are this time.  Why didn’t you tell me?”  
  
  
Stannis’ eyes widened.  “Tell you?  You were Robert’s girlfriend!  I thought you had absolutely no standards or intelligence.  Physical attraction alone is no basis for a relationship.  Furthermore, I thought you hated me and that you would have eaten me alive if I’d shown any sign of weakness.”  
  
  
He took her hands and held them, bringing a smile to her face.  
  
  
“I suppose we have my former lab partner, Qyburn, to thank for bringing us together,” Cersei said wistfully.  
  
  
“Qyburn?”  Stannis frowned as if trying to place the name.  It came to him soon enough, as she knew if would.  Qyburn’s face was on several large billboards throughout the city.  “You mean Dr. Qy ─ plastic surgeon to the stars ─ the guy who has the reality T.V. show?”  
  
  
Cersei nodded.  “The whole fake dating scheme was his idea.”  
  
  
Stannis shook his head.  
  
  
“Yes, we do owe him a debt of gratitude.  Working closely with you those weeks without the pressure of a real date, made me realize that you were smart, caring, and deserved far better than the way Robert treated you.”  
  
  
“Caring?  I wasn’t very nice to you as I remember.”  
  
  
“You wanted to win that election and to make Robert jealous more than anything. Yet you were willing to try and play by the rules that I set for you ─ rules that I knew would make winning impossible.  That, showed me you cared about my feelings.”  
  
  
“I have a confession,” Cersei admitted, averting her eyes.  “I tried to use a few questionable tactics behind your back, but they didn’t work.”  
  
  
“Oh?” Stannis lifted her chin and met her gaze, a smile playing across his lips.  “It wouldn’t have mattered.  Once you taught me how to kiss properly I would have forgiven all of your transgressions.”  He kissed her softly on the lips.  
  
  
“Mmmm.  I did train you well.” Pulling away, Cersei held up a finger.  “Hold that thought. I have to drive the children to school but I’ll make it up to you later tonight.”  
  
  
“How?” Stannis teased, casually fingering the top button on her blouse.  
  
  
Cersei leaned in closely, “We can play King of the Keep,” she whispered against his ear.  
  
  
Stannis swallowed and she noticed his eyes go a bit glassy.  “Just like last time?”  
  
  
Cersei nodded, wetting her lips.  “You can play my servant again.  I’ll even wear the crown if you can find it, and those heels you like ─ and nothing else.”  
  
  
  


 

 


End file.
